


jasper beats up the president

by GODDAMITWILL



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 12:50:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4436168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GODDAMITWILL/pseuds/GODDAMITWILL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>serious adult business here </p><p>i didnt sleep at all last night</p>
            </blockquote>





	jasper beats up the president

lovely day at a town. jaspes in diguset. "wtf why am i here where's green fake illumaniti triangle green head??" she got lost bc she doesnt do directions. also she hates humans  
fuck humans. but seriouy shes lost as frick. thats stilll a word kids use nowadays, right? im so old

she walks into a old gorcery store. swingin a cart behind her back and destroyin a cash register(wow what a big meanie), she makes her way to an isle. i hate that word isle as much as i hate the word island. the s doesnt need to be there why is the s there someone explain why the letter s needs to be in those feakin words its not even prnouced wtf. chester the cheeto cheetah cheater is there. haha. why is there you ask???  
well you didnt but who cares he using his corporate and capitalism powers to sell cheetos. why else did u think he had to be there?? jasper stumbles upon him. "who the heckie r u???"

"im chester the cheetah!! care for sum cheetos??" jas wasper grabs the cheetos and stomps on them "i dont have time for this poop." im tryin to keep this PG and not cuss its illegal to do that. cheester was shocked. "OMG WHY???? CHEETOHS R SO GOOD??? AND UR ORUNAGE SO U SHOULD LIKE THEM TOO???" 

"Nah i dont need this pathetic human load of poo cap all these cheetos" she goes into some ramagepage mode and destroys all the cheetohs/ then she destroys the doritos. "no more sluts gonna be around for these nasty corny crap" chester then got enraged and became an actual cheetah and tried to fight jas jas. it didnt work. she beat him up. i mean come on he's so skinny and hs no actual muscles. he needs to add more meat and ess cheetos into his diet if he wanted to beat jasser. but president abe link came in. 

"u angry son of a rock!" ur arrested to destryoingh food!" jaspher laughed. abe wasnt in a good mode. i mean he hasnt been but this nosy rock is makin it worse . abe challenges jasper to smach. he rips out to show his sick ass muscles abe. "ha! u think ur abes r gonna cut it???" she exposes more muscles. like he has 4 abes goin. maybe 5 even. she's strong. abe gave it a good shot tho. he kinda fought hard but ya know... hes been dead for like 2 years his body is rottin away i mean jasper literally smashed it into bits. hes now deadded. 

"im havin such a blast! maybe this planet isnt worthle-" the cart she threw earlier hit her and then she ended up in super weenie hut jrs were priedsoent bush put her. he also reduced her diet down to cheetos.  
she hates life now. i m so tired.


End file.
